|†| Sin of Depression |†|

The Enemy pursues me,

he crushed me to the ground;

he makes me dwell in darkness

like those long dead.

So my spirit grows faint within me;

my heart within me is dismayed.

                                   Psalms 143:3-4

I want anyone who reads this to realize..

Satan does not want you to be happy.

I'm sure you are saying;

"Gee skippy..thanks for pointing out the obvious"

and yes with what i've been talking about

the past couple weeks, with being positive and sin

and blah blah blah..it's pretty much common sense,

but I really didn't start looking closely at these things

until recently. It's probably because I started reading

a book called 'Battlefield of the Mind' by Joyce Meyer,

Which I will point out was given to me by my mother

to read, probably 4 or 5 years ago.

(which was a time where I was not a believer per say)

Now the book was given to me to read

because I was struggling with negative thoughts,

and depression, which I thought I was hiding pretty well,

more then likely I was just in denial, anyways

when she gave it to me and I found out it was by

Joyce Meyer, pretty much instantly my mind was shut off.

I knew Joyce Meyer as (in my eyes) the crazy lady on TV

my mother would sometimes watch, and if you don't know

her she is a tv evangelist, I'm still not a fan

nor do I watch her but something led me to finally start reading it.

I did read the first couple of chapters when it was first given to me,

but like I said my mind was shut off already before I even started reading,

It's like if you were to give an atheist a bible and tell them to read

they're just going to read it as a bunch of crap and fairy tails.

After I read the first couple of chapters I was like;

"Oh..what a freakin genius 'think positive thoughts'

'the devil doesn't want you to be happy' what a bunch

of typical christian hog wash"

So I didn't even bother reading any farther,

for in my eyes thinking positive was a bunch of crap..

I'm negative and nothing can change that, that was my view,

Also "Try walking in my shoes, then tell me to be positive"

was another way I would put it. Now It's safe to say

i've read pretty much all of it( couple of chapters to go)

and it got me thinking, God wants us to be happy right?

so why would he want us to dwell on the negative?

why would he want us to be depressed?

personally I'm not saying we should be blind,

and walk around thinking every-things all sunshine and lollipops,

because those kind of people annoy me(sorry) but

what I am saying is...we should recognize God has a plan,

everything truly does happen for a reason even

if we can't see the forest through the trees.

God wants us to lay every worry and burden on him,

he wants us to trust him.

 The first verse that really ever got to me

was Matthew 11:28.. 

"come to me all you who are weary and burden,

and I will give you rest"

we are going to struggle, and we are going to fall down..

the difference between God and Satan is simple..

God wants to love you and lift you up,

Satan on the other hand wants to keep you down..

as the verse we started with says..

"He crushes me to the ground"

That negative you hear in your head,

that voice that is usually the loudest

"I would do this or that, but I just know something bad will happen"

"You're not good enough!"

"You're ugly, fat,stupid ect.."

"Why try...you're just going to fail"

thats satan..whispering in your ear...

some of us have things we've struggled with since child hood,

and it's not going to be easy to break those walls down,

in fact the only one who can is God...but it's not going

to be a walk in the park once you find God.

Even when you recognize Christ died for every sin,

that he loves you and just wants a relationship...

guess what? satan is still going to be there whispering..

when you sin, and you fall down( and you will)

it's easy for us to stay there and become disgusted...

become so depressed that we never recover.

That's where satan wants to keep you...

'dwelling in darkness' as the Psalms verse explains.

Satan will then start whispering more things like..

"How can God love you?"

"He doesn't love you, you're a sinner..a failure"

"He's disgusted by you, he died for you 

and all you do is slap him in the face"

"Why even bother praying for help?

He's not going to listen to you

because you failed him"

Thats when we can lose all hope..

we can stop seeking and praying,

all because we listen to satan and our negative thoughts..

about how we are not good enough.

The fact is we will never be good enough..

we don't deserve Christs love...

I don't care who you are, we all deserve hell.

Yes you heard me right, we all deserve hell...

but God loves us..why? I have no Idea why..

what does the verse pretty much everyone in the world knows say?

good ol John 3:16

"For god so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,

that whoever believes in him shall not perish

but have eternal life"

Do we deserve eternal life? no...

Do we deserve such love? no...

but the fact of the matter is we got it,

does anyone truly ever try to comprehend such love?

I don't claim to be special or all knowledgeable

I make mistake after mistake,

and I get those whisperings from Satan..

telling me I am not good enough and I don't deserve Gods love..

BUT praise God for he shows me one way or another

 that he still loves me. Sometimes I even remember to say

"Yeah you're right Satan...I don't deserve His love,

but I got it, and there's nothing you can say to keep me from Him"

Don't let the devil mess with your thought process,

when you hear his negative spin...rebuke him.

Tell him where he can go... =)

As for thinking positive...

I know it's easier said then done for alot of us,

it's a long learning process to just let go

and let God take care of everything,

specially when God sometimes likes to wait 

until the last minute =)

I'm not claiming to never be negative..

or never fall down and get depressed..

I'm just trying to lend a helping hand,

I'm trying to remind you of the fact that God

does love you, and he will help you no matter

what you have done. All you got to do

is acknowledge he is your savior, and truly

understand all things are possible...

don't say that like I use to and

"hope" all things are possible

KNOW all things are possible through God.

It may not happen right away,

the things you ask God to take away.

But dwelling and leaning on God..

he promised he would lift every burden and he will be there for us..

don't let the negative and worry destroy your life..

for what does worry stress and negative ever get you?

All it does is bring you lower and lower,

and sometimes so low that you wonder what's

the point of it all, and why even bother living...

trust me I was at that point for years, and you don't get

those years back. Being negative doesn't help you...

worrying and stress takes life.. it doesn't add to it.

I know I sound like some kind of after school special,

maybe a suicide help line...all I can say is

I've been there and the only way out... was Jesus Christ.

What should our reaction be when trouble and

depression rear there ugly head?

Well lets finish what it says in Psalms 143..

I remember the days of long ago;

I meditate on all your works

and consider what your hands have done.

I spread out my hands to you;

my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, O Lord; my spirit fails.

Do not hide your face from me or I will

be like those who go down to the pit.

Let the morning bring me word of your

unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go,

for to you I lift up my soul.

                             Psalms 143:5-8

This is the example of what we should do..

when we are weighed down with depression

from worry stress and the negative thoughts.

Plain and simple...you pray,

acknowledge who and what God is..

that he is love, and that you know he will take care of you..

for him to come quickly and save you,

not hoping he does but KNOWING he will.

Praise and worship the Lord...

yes even when things are not going your way

you praise and worship the Lord.

 For it's easy for a person to say "I Love God!"

when things are all happy happy joy joy...

but when trouble comes..if we just turn to him

 and still show the love inside...

then how true our Love for him is..

as when God saw his creation in trouble and distress

for not following the law he established..

He sent Jesus Christ out of Love to

die for every sin we would ever commit.

Here is a little something that came to me..

while I was listening to 'Panic Switch' by Silversun Pickups.

To my knowledge... not a Christian band,

and the song had nothing to do with this,

but somewhat following the tempo of the song these lyrics

came into my mind..

(I'll post the video for the song aswell)

I've seen your heart ache

pulling you down this time

and the pain written on your face

is it all just a phase

or will you always be this way

falling into your own place

where you wont let go

where you refuse to see

because you refuse to be

†

**Do you see someone else

when you look at yourself

are you held captive in your own mind?

bleeding and screaming to feel this time..

Will you look to me

just go ahead and lean

read and understand

I wont let you down

When will you wake up..

When will you see..

I love you, and I forgive...

 I'll lift you out of the mess your in..**

I see you down

wont you stand up now

reach for the light

get up and fight

Don't burn through

every memory of you

eye's turn against you

piercing through your soul

and now you are not whole

digging a deeper hole

I'll be right there

waiting for you now

to look up to me

and I'll pull you out

†

**Do you see someone else

when you look at yourself

are you held captive in your own mind?

bleeding and screaming to feel this time..

Will you look to me

just go ahead and lean

read and understand

I wont let you down

When will you wake up..

When will you see..

I love you, and I forgive...

 I'll lift you out of the mess your in..**

tears roll down

 can't recognize yourself now

you've built a wall

a self created down fall

Will you see yourself

through my eyes

or hold on to the lies

won't you be

all that I can see

won't you wake up

from your sleep

when will you have enough

of your self deprecating crutch